Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I Was So Wrong

I really thought that the media had taken the "Mommy Wars" of SAHMs versus working mothers and completely distorted it. I really believed that most mothers supported each other. I guess it's time for me to accept the fact that, like most faiths I've had in anything, it's time to let this one go as well.
On a Moms board I belong to, two - not one, but two - are saying without question that it's working mothers that are the cause of "violent kids." That we don't take our jobs as mothers seriously enough, and that if we really thought about it, we'd find a way to stay home with our kids.
Of course, neither of them had a solution as to how I, a single mother, with a friggin' deadbeat loser addict dad for an ex am supposed to do this with no money coming in. I know in my heart they're wrong, and it's not so much that I feel the need to defend myself as it is that I hate being wrong about believing that women would treat each other better than that.
Oh sure, I knew there was more than one Ann Coulter out there, making trouble. But I really thought that they couldn't affect me, couldn't hurt me. And I know, I shouldn't let others affect how I feel, but since I've posted so much before about how we need other people even to feel anything, then I think it's safe to say that yes, I do give them the power to hurt me. But if I didn't give them that power, I couldn't also accept help from the people that offer me that. How do you have one without the other?
And you know what else?
Sometimes I wish I were them, those other mothers that can just sit there and believe that I'm perfect and find blame in everyone else in the world for all the faults that surround us. Sometimes I wish I could hold onto ignorance as a way to get through this world, as a way to find answers. Sometimes I wish I could even turn my heart off.
But wouldn't that make me a bad mother as well? By not being open to listening to others? By not showing that other people deserve my respect of being taken seriously?
I don't have any answers today. Being proved wrong takes everything out of me except questions.


Kori said...

April-I posted about this on Gather as well. At least we know TWO of us who can unite and support one another!

LunaNik said...

It is a sad, sad thing that women not only fail to support each other, but also to pass judgement. Women, and mothers especially, should be sensitive to the many challenges of life and to the different methods we all have to dealing with these challenges. It's terrible that women in general feel the need to attack each other's choices.

P.S. Good for you, it's always healthy to embrace one's inner bitch every now and again!