Thursday, January 8, 2009

Thank a Single Mother

There's a certain bitch out there who says single mothers are the cause of crime. She wants me to name her and to link to her stupid book, but I'm not going to do it. If you really want to know, you'll find it with a simple Google search. But I would appreciate it if you don't name the bitch here.

Yeah, I'm calling her a bitch. If that offends you, then you'll understand a bit how I feel. You'll understand a taste of the offense and hurt and anger that I'm experiencing that instead of acknowledging how hard single mothers are trying, how much we struggle with every day, how we try to fill the absences in our children's lives, instead this bitch decides to blame US for the fact that the childrens' fathers aren't around. That she decides it's OUR fault that the sperm donors won't pay us our child support, that they won't be responsible enough for us to trust them around our children, that they haven't even CALLED their children in the new year.

In the meantime, people are giving this woman money to hear her blame me. While I struggle to keep up with the monthly bills. While I sit with my daughter and help her with her spelling homework. While I wash their clothes and their dishes and make their lunches and get them up and dressed to school every day and comb their hair, and help them clean their room, and talk to them about their friendship dramas, and their fears and their hopes and their dreams, and I dole out their medicine when they're sick, and read to them, and scold them, and reward them, and constantly wonder and worry whether or not the decisions I'm making them will be the ones that will help them be productive, caring members of society in ten years.

Yeah. It's all my fault.

*P.S. Just to clarify, she doesn't know me personally (or even virtually, I'd imagine), but I still take personal offense to her words since she's talking about single moms in such a manner.

26 comments:

Kori said...

Grrrr. I am not going to name her either, but my blood is past the boiling point. And I am glad you called her a bitch, because I blog about it then I will feel better about calling her the c word.

osolomama said...

Listen, I hear ya. It is nasty and unfair but the skinny B would say too bad, the facts are on her side. The fact is, the facts are NOT on her side. April, even people who disagree with said skinny B on many things say they still agree with that part of her message because "everybody knows it's true." That's how much single motherhood is associated with loserville. The lies perpetrated about single motherhood just continue to make the society less hospitable to all families, which is such a shame. I think of my daughter getting hearing some of this crap as she gets older and I want to cry.

Natalie said...

Well, only one result came up that would sum up "bitch" and I'm guessing I'm right. If I AM right, "bitch" is not a big enough insult for her. That woman has made a career out of being mean and hurtful and karma will get her. She is an example of what is wrong with our world. I'm getting really steamed up typing this and a few other obscenities want to fly off my fingers, but I'll hold back.

She contacted YOU? Oooh, I hope you told her off.

CableGirl said...

Don't know who you're talking about, don't care to. She's obviously not a person with whom I'd ever see eye to eye. I'm sorry you got singled out and attacked by a person who *obviously* has no idea what you do every day and how loved and cared for your children are. She's the fucking fool.

And yeah, it's monumentally unfair that someone who has no other goal than to denigrate single hard working moms can get paid to do so.

won said...

Okay, here's what the bitch wrote in a column dated 1/10/08 (I won't post the URL, because I doubt you'd appreciate my advertising for her in any way, nor would I want to) regarding her own father's passing. I'm not sure if this was quoted from her eulogy to him, or just her chronicling her feelings. At any rate, she wrote:

"Besides being very funny, Father had an absolutely straight moral compass without ever being preachy or judgmental or even telling us in words. He just was good."

So, the flipside of that is seeing that parents in two parent households can raise chidren that are in polar opposite of what they believe in, what they stand for.

Her father was, by her own admission, not judgemental and yet the energy she brings to the world is just the opposite.

Why would we want to listen to such hypocritical thinking anyhow?

Amy said...

I don't know who you're talking about and don't want to know. I was a single mom and it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Has she even been there, I don't know. But if she hasn't then she definitely needs to keep her opinions to herself. I have the utmost respect for you and what you are doing!

TZT said...

That woman is a bitch. And a soulless bitch at that. It seems like an attitude reminiscent of the '80s, when I was the child of a single mother, and it felt like single moms were constantly being cast as society's pariahs.

It hurts kids to be told that their family is automatically deficient simply because there is only one adult in the house. IMO, one adult who loves you and wants to help you through this world can be LOADS better than two who are unhappy together. Don't let her make you feel like you aren't enough, even for a second.

mommypie said...

I'm DYIN' here! WHO'S THE BITCH?!? Lemme at her. I'd love to take a shot.

Off to Google ...

mommypie said...

I'm back. I shoulda known.

The only thing she's hammering home is her pathetic ignorance.

Megkathleen said...

I know exactly who you're talking about and, yeah, she's one hell of a bitch. But what comforts me when she says such hateful things is that: 1. if there's a hell you know she's going there and 2. I think she is probably a very unhappy person with zero friends. Then I just start to feel sorry for her.

Hanna said...

I left a comment on another single mom site, where they actually named this ignorant, souless woman. I can't wait for Karma to come back and bite in her in Conservative white ass.

~Shiona~ said...

Ooh I just knew it. I wasn't sure at first but then figured it out. I stopped listening to anything she had to say years ago but still... Why would she say something like that of all things. Some people man

Tara R. said...

Bitch is right! I hate how people who have never experienced something think they can speak to it with any authority or credence. Single moms are the reason there isn't more crime. They are the ones who sacrifice so much for their kids. I won't even give my time to Google her. Bitch!

FreedomFirst said...

She's mentally handicapped.

Haha! My captcha is "fakerses". As in, she's faking having a clue.

Julie said...

Some people!!! Despicable.

jenn said...

I didn't even know who she was until today, but I saw an article and a link on another blog and had to check it out. She didn't even make intelligent claims. And blaming single moms for everything?! Forget about why we are single moms. Sure, some are by choice (and that's okay with me), but many are because of deadbeat dads who don't care or because of bad marriages or even dangerous situations. And all of that gets blamed on the women? I guess it's my fault that my husband ended up in prison (for a life that I knew nothing about for our six years of marriage) when I was five months pregnant. I suppose it was stupid of me to divorce him. Sorry, I think my daughter is better off with a single mom than with him.

And it seems like she could look at the fact most single moms are doing everything they can to raise their children right. We have to work twice as hard and I think most of us do a good job. Sure, I've met a few single moms that I didn't care for. A few that put their children last. But very few. And I've met married couples with little monsters for kids. She needs to walk a day in our shoes.

Okay, stepping off my soapbox...

Dingo said...

I know who you are talking about and labeling her a bitch is being entirely too kind. As usual with her and her crew, the blame for everything falls on the women.

But you are not alone in receiving her condemnation. Anyone who doesn't fit her ultra-conservative, bigoted, misogynistic mold is subject to her vitriol. So, only rich white men are safe. Whew! Glad to know she has some standards! /sarcasm

My expressions LIVE said...

Its easy for people like the "bitch" to blame others, she is so insecure with her own faults that she has to make sure to blame others for her own problems. @#%@ her! Ok I feel better, have a great weekend!

Ms. Single Mama said...

I applaud you for not linking to her book or that interview.

Someone sent me the link and I quickly thought - hell no, I'm not giving this woman what she wants - more attention.

I read so many comments like what she said on my blog... it seems now I am numb to it. They just don't get it and they never will.

Thanks for this...

Jessica Gottlieb said...

I have no idea who you're talking about, but my mom was single. My husband asked me if I was a better mother than my mom.

Nope.

I could never do it all. My hat is off to you.

OHmommy said...

Oh. My. Gawd. April.

I have no idea how you do it and I am in awe and I can;t imagine anyone saying anything bad. Seriously? Mean people just suck. That is all.

Mama Smurf said...

I was raised by a single mother most of my life. She eventually remarried but my mother was always a single parent in my eyes.

I am in awe of every one of you. I'm married. I stay at home. And I STILL feel like I can't get my shit together.

So...I bow to the master...show me the way...

Seriously, don't take offense to another person's ignorance. She's obviously never been in your shoes. Your hurt and your anger just gives people like that power to continue.

Laura said...

Glad to know that single mothers have such power! I thought that we were barely keeping our heads on straight doing all the things you note, but now I see that we have also been able to undermine the integrity of family values. Wow! We really can multi-task.

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

I am speechless. What an ignorant individual. You are doing an amazing job and should be held in the highest esteem!

hotmamamia said...

I have no idea who everyone is talking about and I don't think I want to know, except that knowledge is power, so I guess I have to go and find out who this uber bitch is...

But, to attack you? What a frickin asshole! She needs to meet her Karma and soon....

hotmamamia said...

I'm back and it was exactly who I thought it was...there are always going to be people who have less than 1/10th of a brain who will listen to her type of crap...she is a female Hitler...maybe I'll write a book about how she emulates the fuhrer....maybe we can get her ass deported or something....she doesn't deserve to live in this country...I'd love to see her identified as a NeoNazi...wouldn't be surprised...bitch is too kind...I'm done....