OK, I really don't know which Part this X drama really is, and all things considered, still tame, but just proof that when there are kids involved, X drama never fully disappears.
I found out last week that Yahoo! Mother Board is holding a summit for us in Northern California, and providing hotel & transportation (I'm SO excited!). Since it's pretty much where X family's lives, I contacted X's brother and sisters to see if the girls could see them while I was at the summit. I've told the girls that if X is still up there, not in jail, then they probably would see them, but that their aunts and uncle would be in charge of the girls. (Standard rules.)
Last night, X tells Sylvia to ask me that if he gives me money upfront, would I have dinner with him and the girls.
This pissed me off on several levels. First, DON'T go through Sylvia to ask ME questions. He has my phone number, he can call me directly. Second, it makes it sound like all I would care about is the money, which isn't the case. True, I said never again would I have dinner with him after the Mother'X day fiasco of a few years ago when I ended up paying for it, but all in all, I'm just not that interested in faking a family dinner with him.
The girls have their relationship with him, and their relationship with me. They know they're two separate things. It's been seven years. They don't need to adjust anymore. And if anything, this facade of a "real" family would just be a reminder of what they don't have.
Not to mention, I don't think I'll be available for dinner. Yahoo! already has dinners planned for us the two nights we're there, so even if I wanted to (which I don't), I probably couldn't do it.
He was on the phone with Riley when Sylvia informed me of this request. I told Riley I wanted to talk to him when she was done, and that upset Sylvia.
I told X not to send messages through Sylvia anymore. She's 12; she doesn't need that kind of responsibility. He said he understood, and he would call me. (Of course, he hasn't.)
Then, I had to deal with Sylvia. She said she wanted us to have dinner together so I could tell him how good she did at the Showcase. I told her I would be happy to tell him that anytime. Then she said she felt guilty because when he had been in jail, she'd written him a letter, pleading with him to never commit another crime again.
She said she'd only done it because everyone (meaning me, her therapist, and I think her friend) had told her it would help her feel better. I asked her if it had, and she nodded through tears. She said she was glad she'd done it, but he'd sounded sad when they had talked about it. I told her that's because he felt bad about letting her down. As he should.
I told her, "you know I'm always honest about your dad. I promise you, you can always tell him how you feel. He will never stop loving you. He may not know how to be a dad, but he does love you and he always will." She hugged me then.
So it ended up being okay and helped her get to a better place.
In other news, I've got another post up at Parentella, asking if school standardizes students.