Monday, December 6, 2010

Finding Peace

This is Sylvia's award-winning peace poster. The girls and I are on one side of a cracked heart, and their father's on the other. Sylvia placed a band-aid with peace symbols over the crack.

The contest was about peace, both universally and personally. Obviously, Sylvia chose the personal side. Even since creating this earlier this school year, she has found even more peace with the situation. She has come to accept the idea that our family can never be "repaired" in the sense of Mommy and Daddy getting back together, and even agrees now that it shouldn't happen. She is still coming to terms with the idea that her father will never be a part of her life in a true parental role. (Not because I wouldn't allow it, but because he simply is not capable.)

It's bittersweet that she would receive such recognition for this very personal piece. She obviously touched the heart of the judges, but of course, there's that pain of wishing she didn't have to experience any of this at all. I choose to concentrate on my pride for her.

Accepting situations for how they are, accepting people for who they are; these are things that have never come easy for me and I still struggle with them. In some ways, I think it's a worthy struggle because we should all try to be better, but sometimes, we do have to let go. That is much harder for me than it is for my girls. I am in awe of their strength of character.

10 comments:

Penelope said...

What a strong, beautiful daughter you have. I'm very, very touched by this.

Huckdoll said...

Oh, wow ... what an amazing girl you've got there. I'm not surprised it touched the hearts of the judges ... this kind of understanding and it's translation to art is a real gift.

Tara R. said...

I continue to be amazed at how insightful Sylvia is and how maturely she is dealing with the situation with her dad.

Debbie said...

What a wonderful piece of art - and emotion. I can see why she was recognized. Clearly your support and love for her has helped her get to this place where she can express herself so openly.

Danielle said...

The symbolism of the band-aid says volumes to me. You are definitely do a great job teaching your girls!

BigLittleWolf said...

What a tribute to you and your parenting, that she's coming to terms with the reality of her family. It's so difficult to navigate that narrow space in parenting - not wanting to take away a child's love for another parent, but wanting them to understand the limitations that exist, in a way, to protect them from hurt and also, to teach them.

I suspect she will be a compassionate woman. You should be proud.

Nilu said...

Rarely do I come across blogs where I want to read each and every word written by the author. Yours is precious! I don't want to skip anything at all.

I love all the posts that I've read but this one is most touching! It reflects how well you've brought up your daugher, single-handedly. Kudos!!!

Mandy said...

Sylvia's creation says so much about where she is in her healing process and it's a very healthy place to be.

I'm sure she wouldn't be there without your wisdom - well done, April.

And yes, learning to accept people as they are instead of thinking you can change them is one of life's biggest lessons.

Soccer Mom said...

WOW...what an awesome lesson she's learned. It's a really tough one...for adults as well as kids!

Jenni Conner said...

WOW. That's all I can say.. probably because in a way our situations are a lot alike when it comes to our exes. What a beautiful piece of art, and what a strong daughter.