I'm very excited to be nominated as a Top 25 SoCal Mom blog on Circle of Moms. So I guess that means I should post something. (And, of course, I've put the button on my site so you can vote for me every day ;)
As evidenced by the sporadic posting here, our routines are still in transition, and my downtime has been more like turn-off-mind time. When I sit in front of my pc at home, I get obsessed with FreeCell. I've been playing the games in order off and on for years now. I'm up to #5731.
Outside of work and the normal brain activity required in everyday parenting, the rest of my thinking has been exhausted figuring out the transportation schedule.
Sylvia is trying out dance classes for her scholarship, and she's had to be there every night this week. Meanwhile, I've started the commuting with Riley already for her summer school session so I have to make sure I pick up Riley before her campus closes and have enough travel time to get Sylvia where she needs to go. I had to call in reinforcements (i.e., my parents) when I had a mandatory family meeting at Riley's school. And then, of course, fitting in 40 hours for work.
I've said that the early years of parenting are physically exhausting, and the later years are mentally exhausting. I think my car will be most exhausted of all of us!
But the overall theme of our summer thus far has been laughter. I love that the girls are older and can appreciate my humor a little more now, but even more than that, I've been better able to be just plain silly a lot more.
I've found not quite a Zen place when the girls show pubescent attitude, but an ability to shrug it off, to not take it so personally. I think I can actually relate to them more, as I remember those years more clearly and can empathize with what they're going through. And I believe in myself a lot more as a mom, too.
I'm no longer stressed that every moment of pain they have can be attributed to the divorce and daddy issues. I come from a happy two-parent home, and I remember feeling just as insecure, or annoyed, or obsessed with something.
That's not to say that they can get away with anything. But I've let go of the concept that this one instance will define how they will deal with everything all the time for the rest of their lives. I've seen them grow, I've seen them mature. I know I may have to say it about 1,000 more times before it finally comes through, and most likely it won't be my words that makes it through, but hey, I'm a mom. I can't help myself.
And every so often, I hear them repeat something I've said. Little nuggets that give me hope that they might actually be listening, after all! Sometimes, I can see I need to go back and re-word it because the way they're using it, well, as Inigo Montoya said, "I do not think that word means what you think it means." But sometimes, they get it right on the money. Those little rewards are like a massage or a day at the spa for me. They relax me like nothing else can. They give me permission to be a little silly myself. And play a little FreeCell.