Balancing a Teen's Look

To celebrate her independence, Sylvia opted to dye her hair black this 4th of July.

She did ask permission first (and thanks to my mom for applying it), and my only condition was that she couldn't go a crazy color with the performances of the musical taking place next month. Otherwise, I'm okay with it.

I remember wanting to try something different at her age. Unfortunately, my hair is so dark that it really won't take a dye job, unless I bleached it first, which I wasn't willing to do. I guess I have two conditions: I told Sylvia to never bleach her hair.

Hair changes are not permanent. I disagree with her on bangs; I think she looks better without them, but hey, it's her hair.

From the time they were little, I let them choose the length of their hair. They know that longer hair requires more care, but has greater versatility. They ask my opinion, which I give, but I always end it with, "it's your choice."

I'm not so liberal when it comes to more permanent decisions. I let them get their ears pierced, but only one hole per ear. Anything more permanent than a henna tattoo is forbidden. They may make a different decision when they're adults, but then, they'll be paying for it!

These choices help them feel like they have a say in their own bodies, but if they regret them later, they only have to live with it for so long.

Besides, Sylvia's gorgeous in any hair color! That smile makes it so.